My will is stronger than before

HIGH SO HIGH

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 02:00:37 GMT

AHHHHHHH SO HERE WAS THE DAY BASICALLY IT WAS THE FIRST DAY OF THE SPRING SEMESTER AND ME AND FLIP AND HIS HOMIES DECIDED TO BLAZE IT UP BEFORE CLASS!!!!! HHAHA SO WE HAD LIKE TWO SESSIONS BEFORE CLASS I CAME ALL FADED LIKE A P.I.M.P. TO SCOOL AND I SAT IN THE WRONG CLASS FOR A WHOLE PERIOD AHAHAHAHA HOW STUPID BUT YEAH I COUDNT FOCUS ON ANYTHING AND YEAH I WAS MASS FADED AND FUCKT UP ALL MY CLASSES SOMEHOW HAHAHAHA.

OW WELL THEN AFTERSCOOL JOVAN AND COLE CAME OVER AND WE BLAZED IT BY MY POOL NOW IM OUT OF BUD..GEEZ. LOL. BUT YEAH I CAN T WAET UNTIL VALENTINES DAY

where the bud

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 05:31:01 GMT

thursday was sad my environmental science class was over :( well i just left that and drove to chris' house and we chilled and blazed for hours i was sooo high ...we were high so high then crystal came and we stayed high until nighttime i was faded cause we smoked nonstop ahhhhh then crhis and crystal cooked osme good as food like (expensive)steak and shit with stir fry and mashed taters mmmm lol. i went home and knocced out i was soo burnt out. l.o.l. then friday was my last music class i took a final, i was feelen stuppid cause i was high all week i took it and left and Flip called me up an we got papers an went to are spot and blazed. he has that homegrown shit which i never think i had but it got me fadded but not that faded caus ei coud still drive up to chris house after that ...and got more fadded smoked more bowls of two diff kinds of KUSH. i had that OG KUSH l.o.l i was as faded as thursday we smoked till nighttime again an we made good ass soup that took like 3 hours with chrstal. went home and knoced the f* out. i lve the valley.

ready 2 smoke

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 01:11:31 GMT

yeah im pretty fadded now still yea i just chilled with jovan today at his pad like watch tv an shit and somke some boewls ! my shit is prettyy bomb but yeah just kiced and shit purdy chill u ntil nw ive been watching alot of t.v. like Reba and /scrubs hahaha whoa i had a test today an another one tomorrow an study an i got a fuccen hw assignment too! stuuupid. wonder wats valentine gunna be like?!?~

c

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 01:47:39 GMT

annabis cup. and wat!? hahaha geez i am soooo fadded cause me and jovan just blazed hella bowls and my shit was good even jovan was like whoaaaaa u have good shit ohhhh! aahahahaha i think i got it in pacoima n-e-ways yeah we just blazed from a fucin pear! like 20 fat bowls zand yeahhhhhh the sun was setting it was pretty u kno i hope he asks me to be his Vilintine! hehe and oh i had a facial today. hahahaha. man haha i was just trippen on have so much h.w. stupid winter. but yeah hmm i thought i lost my glases but i didnt yeah u kno i wish wait..ido!i do! i do have more bud! ahahahahahahaa but then this week is going to suck isnt it. haha like the fat girl in the ommercial! "im going to die here arent i?" causeshe looked in the cupbord and there wasnt nythng to eat!!!! hahahahahaha o.m.g.but yeah i cant wait until summer so i can vacation out-of-coentry!!!!!!!!!

man im mad!

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 05:48:59 GMT

lemme tell ym sotry today was a very very sad day me crystal an chirs when to chris dad's funeral yes it was veyr sad. my most intense moment was when everyone walked out the crhurch but close family and they cried on the coffin, i had to leaft befor ei cried so i did then we went had mexican food afterneath that and yea then we drove jacinda home then we left back to sophers pad and then we bounced to the bong store and hit the bubbler i got pretty fadded. haha it was gnarly shit an i kept thniken of jovan an his dumbass is sick so i cant sleepovered and yea me an crystal an chris watched a lot of aquateen fadded then i wen thome and crytlsal tried to pick a figthe with me over how much bud i took and thught i was tryen to get it for jovan or soethen. stupid haha im not like that haha not shady geez. im so faded the drive home was pretty terifuying.

i alredy posted for today

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 05:30:27 GMT

but wtf if i think about it ive been seeing the same guy for over a year....13 months to be exact...and yeah pretty weird haha. who woudve thought i'd stay with a BRO for soo long? ha. he loves me<3

pass it!

Fri, 26 Jan 2007 05:23:18 GMT

yoooo soooo this week had been a funass blur cause i was stonded and drunk everyyyyday haha so ive had some of those hungover-tired days but yeah. i got to kno Eddie better we chilled after class and "studied for the test" l.o.l. and yeahhhh he is sooo polite lol and nice but yeahhh he has a girlfriend so im backing off! lol we had thai food a few days ago at muay thai ahhhhh it was soooo good *ive been craving pad thai for days now. and yeah ive beenhanging out with tim a lot now. i like that cause we're neigbors so its easy to hang out i just walk across the street@ lol we saw Accepted it was a funny movie, very unrealistic but that clooege was funy lol..SHIT lol. Matt returned to base :( army sucks but who else is going to fight for our country! soo yeah i mss him cause he actualy smoked and was an alcoholic ..more so than tim lol. idk he was more BAD BOY, thats wat i like...anyway, yesterday i chilled with giovan<3. we were in his ggarage or like two hours listening to so cal trash and kottonmouth kings! then he put on *take a bath* track and it made me horny! lol haha yeahhh i love that kid we got so fadded AND LIKE BONED FOR TWO HURS STRIAGHT hahahaha it was soooo good lol but yeah we were fuct up......but i seriusly think yesterday alone brougth us sooo much closer...idk we defintely talked a lot more and he like didnt want me to leave and when he gets home from dirtbiking were gunna go riden..HELL YEA GO RIDING which means he is gunna ride his dirtbike and i will watcht hen were gunna FUCK lol. and yeah.....he wants me to sleepover soon and i want to toooo. i wish we were cuddling right now its so easy to fall asleep with him! especialy whe were fucke dup stoned and on pills lol.<333333 im missen him fer shure.

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:31:55 GMT

HA HA WELL YESTERDAY WAS BORED SO CALLED AND GIOVAN CAME OVER MAN HIS SOOO HOT AND WE WERE KICCEN IT IN MY ROOM I CHUGGED BEEEER SO WE COUD MAKE ARE PIPE BUT THEN I WAS LIKE OH NO TIN SO I GOT A WATERBOTTLE AN GIOVAN FUCKED IT UP WITH MY PENCIL THING SO WE MADE A PIPE AND SMOKED A SHITLOAD OF SWEET S.A.T.I.V.A. DAMN I GTO FADDED ON THAT SH*T HE GOT ME SO FADDED OFF WE PACKED BOWL AFTER BOWL AN I WAS HOME SO I DIDNT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT DRIVING SO WE DIDNT STOP I COUDNT QUIT THAT KEPT GOING FADDED FROM 2 PM UNTIL NIGHTTTIME! WE JUST KICKCED IT AN WATCHED SCRUBS I WAS SO FADDED WITH HIM HAHA THEN HE BONED OUT I JUST KEEP BLAZEN UNTIL I PASSTED OUT!

THEN TODAY I GOT HOME...WHERES THE BUD AT???? SO I CAME OVER TO MY NAYBOR TIM'S PAD AND HIS ARMY BROTHER MATT WAS THERE WITH HIS GF AND WE WWATCHED RICKY BOBY TALLADEGA NIGHTS I HAD LIKE MOUNTIAN DEW WITH SHOT AFTER SHOT AN DMIXED WITH JACK DANIELS OHHH I WAS SOOO TIPSY THANK LORD I WAS ON THE COUCH JUST BUZZEN THRU THE HOLE MOVIE HEHE THEN WE CHECKED OUT HIS DIRTBIKES WHICH ARE SICK AS FUCK AND YESTERDAY GIOVAN INVITED ME TO GO RIDEN AND TIM ALSO TOO MAN I WANT TO GET FADDED AND START RIDEN THOSE QUADS! IM STILL KINDA BUZZED HAHA

OHHHH RECNET PICTURE IF U FORGOT HOW I LOOK LIKE BITCHES!

huh?

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 20:35:08 GMT

wtf me and Evelyn and Cindy kicked it on Friday at their house and waited for the boys to come pick us up cause we were gonna go to a party on Victory and supposedly there were going to be a lot of fine guys there and i didn't know we were going to go with guys until later cause i felt bad if i came with someone then i wouldn't be able to flirt with anybody but then the guys who were throwing the party flaked and there was no house so we were trying to find parties all day but we couldnt find any so we decided to go bowling but ten the guys that were supposed to take us never showed! Man we were so mad they didn't even call haha look what ya'll missed out on haha too bad so we just went to popeyes and then to Burbank Towncenter there were hella fine guys there ohhhh my gosh with all of their friends yep and we were getting all the attention but none the guys came up haha how lame is that thats f* cause i don't want a guy with no confidence! Whats the point in catwhistles and checking us out and making comments if your not going to actually come up? Haha i dunno what goes on in guys minds! lol. Well i just bought like 3 really cute tops and we left and i came home....

Then for Christmas Eve Crystal had a famly party i came late though but it was still cool. Me and Jacinda made each other Christmas cards Angel curled my hiar and i really liked it and i took pictures of it but they didn't show up later on wtf man?! l.o.l. n-e-way i got a lot of giftcards so yeah then we had to go to xmas mass but ahhh it was sooo long like 2 hours i thought i was going to die me and Cryystal got so bored we started poking strangers and taunting the little fat girl in front of us lmao she had a staring problem and i kept smiling and waving at her she was so shy and sooo fat. We were that bored in curch we played tictactoe hangman and the square game. Then it was over, and Christmas was no fun i didn't go to any parties.

But yeah anyway yesterdy Evelyn and me were supposed to kick it at the mall then later i found out those guys were coming too i was like okay but i felt stupid cause i didn't want the guy to think i had been up for the date cause he was all looking forward to meet me...we they all pick me up and of course they love me what can i say i have that shit l.o.l. ?We just kicked it at the park and i got to know the guys a little better and idk i didn't really feel comfortable bieng alone with my date but whatevers when we were with Evelyn and her guy it was all chill we got along really well and me and Alon* well..haha he had rocks...and man i haven't tweaked since last year sooooooo well let's just say we put a dollar to good use. an then we went to the mall and there were so many people there and he bught me a cone :) Then i bought my bondage belt which is f*n tight! l.o.l TIGHT! tiiiiight! lol Really cool! lol yep and we just kicked it and he kept trying to touch me! i was like i hoe he doesnt try to kiss me1 lol ahahahaha then they dropped me off. It was a chill though me and eveyln are for sure going to kick it with them a lot form now on and J-boys all tellen Eveyln that Alon is a player and everything he's telling me is part of his game and their all "watch out" wth! haha i don't think they know me like that yet if anything im going to be the one playing the tricks he's not going to get to me i already know whats up i look out for myslef its a 24/7 thing well......yeah the guys are going to throw a hotel party on Saturday so shits going to be tight cause beeeeeeer.

almost christmas

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 20:35:11 GMT

Alratoz l.o.l yesterday is was sooooooo FAAAADED ahahaha it was realle funny. bowl after bowl in Chris's room day was tiiiiiight then i was listening to music in his living room an his t.v. was on and doing random visualizations or watever its called and i was trippen felt like i was in space or something idk smoked too much! wait..theres no such thing!!! haha i stayed higtill nigttime yeaaa me an chrystal an chris wetn to pizza cookery an then junk food just kicced it at his house! but yeah during the week i kicced it with nevin and his sister lisa at the mall it was chill as hell i love them and i guess finals are okay. i ditched the day of english finals cause fuck i forgot! i didnt even start my reserch paper which was alredy due and its half our grade! son of a bitch! and for gymnastics i passed that shit with my sequences and i did my floor routine and on the parralel bars i did back kips. the other hard ones i did i guess were front handsrpings back handsrpings roundoffs frotn and back somersaults and got my back walkover agian. psych finals are on tuesday i think ill do well, not because im smart but because its on a curve and i kno the other girls in my class are lazy as hell. math..well alredy faield that shit long ago i didnt even drop it i just stopped going. damn collage is harder than i thought!!! my only best friend there is still evelyn form high school and i met some chill guys i guess. ttop of my head: dewey, ben, amy, iliana, kadie, i guess thats it.

bacardi apple and a 40 oz

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 01:59:42 GMT

Yea so yesterday me Crystal and Chirs rolled to Sopher's house! and me and the guys were smoken indo an sippen 40z an taken shots of apple rum by the pool shit was tiiiiiiight and the trees started swaying and looking like a big monster then i didnt know if i was high or drunk i was both!!!! then we left and went to westfield shopping center it was purdy far and had munchies at panda express ha ha o.m.g. i was fuct up!!!!!!!!! it was the bud or too many shots of bacardi i need more drank right now ha ha yea lately ive been talken to this kid Joel but i dotn like him that way i like David that way but his in arizona right now wont cme backto cali for ...i dunno when ! and dam brian called he's in the navy right now in illinios but promised me we'll hang out when he gets back for christmas@! look how fuct up i am i took pictures ahahaha it was damn cold but i was burnen up form the alcohol motherfucker!

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 20:42:54 GMT

o.m.g Casino Royale was soooo good and the new James Bond is sooo hot l.o.l. I went to the mall with Nevin and Angel(the guy one) aww it was so fun. I had mogolian grill l.o.l. man i love that and yeah.
Nevins CRX kicks my ass its so fast and so loud i feel like a racer girl when were driving in it. but yeah i need to rent Casino Royale when it gets out on dvd cause it was that good!

on my birthday

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 04:26:04 GMT

o.m.g. my brithday was fun we picced up jacinda umm me chris and crystal went to pacific theatres the one in winnetka and we saw Happy Feet. It was soooo cute/funny i definitey am going to rent it when it comes out it's the one with the penguins hehehehhe. then afterwerds we went to northridge mall and had mongolian grill it is seriusly my favorite food now i crave it all the time and as usual it was soooo good and i bought a really tight belt which i am going to beat ass with if i need to i will whip someone in the face with it. ill sock u in the face if u get me mad! but yeah some people are so sweet and remembered my brithday without those stupid myspace reminders. hehehe jacinda, chris, and err ross left really sweet messages and ryan and nevin i love those boys. so next wednesday another throwdown with that stupid ass bitch Elsie and her stupid mfkr girl and MArylou those bitches are gonna be runnin scared bite it u scum be scared and beware! wannabe punks!

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 03:41:03 GMT

Oh man Saturday we all got in my car and rolled to long beach so me and marisa and her sister could throw down with some stupid ass bitches who don't know what the fuck they are getting themselves into. i came with crystal, chris, and pavel but freakane traffic held us back 3 hours it was gay so we just chilled with marisa a little at her boyfriends house then we left. haha i wanted to punch someone so bad next week im going to i hope so i don't like stupid punk girls talking shit about my friends!

but yeah on saturday i just chilled and molly came over we ate like fatties all my halloween candy and we watched Just Like Heave this movie with reese witherspoon i reallly liked it (i cried) hehehehe thenwe just posted in the front porch with megan and ashley um did gymnastics and cheer and i got clawed by molly's damn cat Darkness oh and i also stepped on a slug. oh and we took pictures hehehe

look

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 19:27:07 GMT

yeaaahhhhh i got pretty drunk on friday well me and crystal chilled all day then kicked it with chris and nery then pavel at his house then went shopping then drinking in the car then fucced up at taco bell!!!!!!!!!!!! I drove pretty well home even tho i was scared but maybe i wasnt driving well at all an it was just in my head.

halloween weekend

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 03:31:07 GMT

ALRIGHT BITCHES SO SOFER IS OUT OF JAIL!!!!!!!!! HAAA WAT A SURPRISE WELL YEA THURSDAY WE ALL KICKED IT ALL DAY WELL ME AND CHRIS AND CRYSTAL GOT FADED THEN HEADED UP TO PICK UP LISETTE THEN WE GOT THEIR AND CALLED THE GUYS AND WE ALL MET UP AT CITYWALK. GOT MORE FADED AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL AND WALKED UP TOGETHER. ITS WAS SOFER, CHRIS, CRYSTAL, SANDRA, LISETTE, AND ME. WELL WE HAD A GOOD TIME UNTIL WE FOUND WE HAD TO LEAVE BEFORE CURFEW AND THE PEOPLE AT BUBBA GUMP TOOK FOREVER TO MAKE ARE FOOD SO WE BASICALLY SAT THERE FOR ONE HOUR THEN HAD TO TAKE IT TO GO, RUSHED ON THE FREEWAYAND THEY ALL DROPPED ME OFF. SO BASICALLY FROM THERE IT ALL WENT BAD FOR BOTH CARS, IN THE FIRST CAR I WAS BY MYSELF I TOOK VICTORY DOWN THE WRONG WAY AND ENDED UP ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE AND ENDED UP IN ENCINO! WTF I WAS SOO SCARED IT WAS MIDNIGHT THE MIDDLEOF THE NIGHT AND I WAS TERIBLY LOST ( AND I AM SCARED OF BEING LOST AND DRIVING WTH NO DIRECTION BECAUSE I GET CONFUSED AND ACCIDENT PRONE) WELL YEA I FINALLY PULLED INTO A GAS STATION AND ASKED THESE PEOPLE WHERE TO GO AND A LADY TOLD ME HOW TO GET TO BURBANK, AND I DID TRUST HER AND MADE IT HOME ALRIGHT I WISH I COUD THANK THEM BUT THEY ARE FAR. THEEEEN LATER I FIND OUT THAT THE OTHERS IN THE OTHER CAR GOT PULLED OVER AND TICKETED AND THE CAR SEARCHED AND HANDCUFFED AND ALLL THAT SHIT. MAN TRIPPY CAUSE EARLIER ME AND CHRIS AND SOFER ALL SAW A BLACK CAT, MAYBE ITS A COINCIDENCE BUT IT WAS ALL JUST BAD LUCK AND ONE OF THE SCARIEST NITES OF MY LIFE I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO GET IN SOOO MUCH TROUBLE FOR COMMING HOME LATE THURSDAY NIGHT. I STAYED UP AT NIGHT STILL SCARED.

BUT YEAH FRIDAY WAS THE SHIT I DROVE BY MYSELF TO CHRIS' HOUSE, PICKED UP CRYSTAL AND WE DROVE BACK TO BURBANK MALL (AND ALMOST KILLED 3 PIGEONS NASTY ASS BIRDS) WELL YEA SHE HAD TO PAY SOMETHIN OFF AT MACY'S THEN WE WENT TO MY FAVORITEST BESTEST FASTFOOD PLACE, THE MOGOLIAN GRILL LMAO WE SHARED A BIG ASS PLATTER OF NODDLES AND ALL THIS MEAT AND MUSHROOMS AND BROCOLI. WE CRUNCHED SO MUHC MEAT ON ONE BOWL THE LADY WROKING THERE GAVE US A DISSAPROVING LOOK LMAO AND THE GUY WHO COOKED IT FOR US WAS NICE THOUGH WELL YEA WE ATE ON THE BALCONY<3 THEN STARTEDRIVING TO SAN FERNANDO TO THE BLOCKBUSTER TO MEET CHRIS WHERE THEY ALL HUSTLED FOR A FEW HOURS AND MADE SOME DROPS, THEN IT WAS NIGHT CRYSTAL HAD TO LEAVE.

THEN ME, CHRIS, SOFER, AND NERY JUST DROVE UP TO HIGH HILLS AND KICKED IT. WE TOOK A HIKE UP THE HILL OMG IT WAS SOOO SCARY. WE SAT ON THE BENCHES AND WATCHED THE CITY BELOW IT WAS TIGHT AND LOOKED PRETTY.BUT YEA I WAS HEXPECTING TO SEE LEATHERFACE RUN OUT FORM THE WOODS WITH HIS CHAINSAW AND CHASE US LOL OR A WHOLE BUNCH OF ZOMBIES WALKING DOWN THE HILL TOWARDS US I HAVE SUCH AN OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION I SCARE EVERYBODY LOL BUT WE ALL PLAYED ON THE SWINGS AND SLIDES THEN WE LEFT WE DROVE AND DROPPED OF SOFER AT CLEVER'S HOUSE, THEN CHRIS, THEN I DROP[ED OFF NERY. THEN I KINDA GOT LOST ON MY WAY HOME AGAIN (2 NIGHTS IN A ROW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT) AND IT WAS SOO DARK AND I DIDNT HAVE MY GLASSES SO I COULNT READ THE SIGNS NOR COULD I SEEE VERY FAR IN FRONT OF ME, THANK GOD IT WAS NOT RAING) BUT I MADE IT HOME FINE, EXCEPT THE FACT I HAD TO GO OUT OF MY WAY ALSO CAUSE NEAR PETCO THERE WAS A HUGE ACIDENT. I COULD BARELY SLEEP KNOWING FROM ALL THIS I MIGHT HAVE MIGHTMARES, THEN I DID HAVE A MIGHTMARE. I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOTU IT BUT I WOKE UP BEING MAD OF MY BROTHER PETER AND MY CUSHION THY CAUSE THEY WERE STUPID AND SYMPATHIZED WITHT HE ENEMYIS IN MY DREAM. IM WEIRD.

i have seen the white alligater

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 18:55:53 GMT

ahhhhh yesterday was sooo fun me and Crystal went to the L.A. Zoo and i was so HAPPY the whole time i love the zoo. Well we did a lot of walking around the park it was really really nice there were different trees everywhere. every direction u turned there was nature it was cool. we spent most the time at the different monkeys cause it was crystals homework. i wish going to the zoo was my homework. but yea my favorites were the white alligator(he looked really sad tho :( , the sleepy snow leapoards, umm the chimps were grooming each other and spooning l.o.l. and yeah the wild tapir was cool too l.o.l. i was running around liek tarzan and yelling it was so funny. there were so many moms with carriages and little blonde kds everywhere and elementary kids on field trips holding hands not to get lost. i though that was cute it made me smile and remember when i was in kindergarden and we went to the zoo. i remember my bestfriend anthony we ust to hold hands and hug everyday and he ust to be like "you are my best friend right!" lmao awh i think i saw him agian at lawrence in 8th grade, but he didnt recognize me and he went by too fast to talk to him. anyway me and crystal had burgers and a big burrito which i rated a 5 on a scale of ten and we beat the traffic back to my scool. when she sends me the zoo pictures im going to put them up. im going to post a lot of pics soon lo.l.

well my plan for the rest of the week is today= math& gymnastics, tomorrow i want to hang out with jovan, and friday kick it with crystala nd chris and have a picnic at high hills get drunk and faaaadded and HOPEFELLY by then sopher will be out of jail it was his birtdythe other day happy late birthday sopher. i need to write him anothe rletter just in case tho :/

og kush

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 20:46:18 GMT

lmao my weekend was seriusly wacrazyyyyy thurdsay night giovann came over and we chugged beer and shared cigs and watched parentel control (the one with the hardcore redhead with the open leeegss and her bf kissed both girls on the date wtf haha stupid bitch shuldve dumped him laaater) and flavor of love. flavaaaa flaaaaav l.o.l. and omg the black lady got all upset she lost twice l.o.l.. but i knew he was gunna pick deliscis cause she's delicccioussz lo.l AHHHH giovann left at midnight and i fell asleep like right away and i woke up friday morning mhmm got all ready then went over to Giovanns to kick it we smoked bowls then went outside to the laundry room and all these guys were there an i bought some OG KUSH but i was dubious cause is melled like pine but me no cares then we went back iside to roll a blunt then f-it we got the bong and smoked bowl after bowl choke choke bubble bubble choke bubble hit finish sizzle crack snap pop woo woo ding dong ha jk bout the last part. i kno the name of the movie now its A night at the roxbury cause we watched it agiaaan lo.o. i wanted to yeeeeeppp snfd it was funnnnie the second time too. ahhh that kushy kush got me sooo faded then aaron and his dad came in and i smekd some more kush or maybe it was realle shwag cause i got mass throate burn form couphen ahahaha then i was mass tripping out on the movie we were watching i think it was the beatles yellow submarine the cartoons were hella trippy i was all wtf how come i never liekd this before!!!! giovanns dad made me mass crack up with his random yells lmao and adding to the movie with his sound effects and repeating the lines. HOW CAN I GRAB UR ASS WHEN I WAS ALL THE WAY OVER EHRE. DID U JUST GRAB MY ASS? LMAO ahhhhhh from then on i was faded for the rest of the night smoked nonstop from like 2 until 7 lol then i drove home and walked in all faded and watched t.v. with peter and pigged out THEN MY DAD CAME HOME HIS LIKE IM GOING TO ORANGE COUNTY DO U WANT TO GO and i was like trying to hide the fact is was stoned and plus the smell of cigarette on my clothes cause he'd kno cause his a smoker and yea i was like YEAH cause i didnt want him to drive along for that long without company and fall asleep on the road so we went. i was wearen my juicy cuiture pink sweatsuit with blue slippers i was soo comfortable. an the whole time there was gay as traffic all up to pasedena and before the second freeway split wtf i started mass crahsng i didnt kno when my eyes were pe or closed then later on the way home i was kinda awake cause i was singen along to the music (my love love c.d. and mandy moore lmao)_ and yeah some lady made me coffee and gave me an head and neck massage before we left it felt sooo good but yea the ride bakc from orange ocunty there was no traffic and i got home and crashed. and i didnt get to c crystal or chris but we r gonaa hanged out next friday an have a fun ass beer/bud picnic at high hills Flaaavor flaaaaaaav

i'll start writing again...

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 23:07:10 GMT

Driving faded is seriusly the scariest thing in the world. I'm never going to take that chance again i thought i was going to die. The guy is was hanging out with is freaking disgusting and i seriusly thought about getting up and ditching his ass but noo im too nice, his friends were cool though. We kicked it (me and his friends) in Sun Valley it was me and a whole group of guys. There were these two brothers, a weird little short guy, and a guy named shady. Shady was kinda hot but yeah whatever took hits from the bong and smoked 2 blunts yea it got me high for hours which was bad cause i had to drive back to Burbank. SUN VALLEY SMOKES BLUNTS.

Yesterday was chill i kicked it with Giovann (he's still cuuute!<3)drove around for cigs he got me reds and back at his house his dad set up like cameras in the front doorway lol i didn't know his dad was that paranoid. He's like super anti-Burbank police. hell yeah fuck 5-0 fuck the oinkers i've had nothing but bad experiences witht he cops fuck em'. But yeahhh took hits from the bong hell yeah 420 everyday Giovann's shit always gets me so faded ahaha. like old times. me and giovann talekd liek old times...listeining to Big B and Kottonmouth Kings, bros the way to go. Then all of a sudden Nick comes crashing through the doorway. Jumps off his bike in the living room and lays panting on the floor. My brain snapped like WTF!!! oh no not this again l.o.l
But yeah we took like 4 smoke breaks outside and in the laundry room. Watched porn and some movie with Will Ferrell, it was an old one. I don't know the title and i was to faded but it was about these two guys who went to clubs and humped everybody there and they had choreographed hang movements er whatever lmao. bad habits are hard to break. that's all i gotta say. i got my ass smacked my every guy in the house lol my white cotton capris have handprints on them lol.

I hope Jovan calls! Wait i just checked my phone and i have 4 missed calls from him l.o.l.

one year later...

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 19:58:50 GMT

i just re-read the whole journal i started it oct 2004 and stopped writing oct 2005, now its oct 2006. i am a changed person, and i am ashamed of how i used to be. i know who my real friends are now. but...i don't regret anything that happened because its from the bad experiences that i learn form and makes me who i am today. i am no longer caught up in stupid trends or phases. i don't miss being a bro-hoe. i was a bro-hoe before it was cool to be one,and this journal documents my life as one. i miss riding and offroading, drinking, drugs...but i was used by my bro friends and i see that now.

something happy. update. im in college now, i go to valley, i love the people ive met, and i want to do well. i still go gymnastics i am much much better and stronger. no more court dates or probation i am out of trouble. i have a job now and i have a license and drive. no boyfriend in about a year, and i no lnger toy with peoples hearts. ive made too many mistakes.

i love my family still, and my cousins<3

i....

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 21:15:10 GMT

fuckin hate this journal now im back reading all the shit i used to type what bullshit i fuckin hate this shit how do i delelte this journal. all i did was mope about how i missed 'him' and eeeeewww someone help me delete this shit. fuuuuucccckkk,

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 00:14:33 GMT

I wanna learn how to play Mr. Crowley on keyboards. Simple enough, right? I love baroque/classical influenced metal!!!

woohooooooooooo im drinking pineapple-orange juice. waaaay wild. this is how crazy i can be. i drink tropical juice, weeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

NORMA JEAN...

Sat, 28 May 2005 00:58:50 GMT

So i listened to Norma Jean because their supposedly so hardcore and such a great band but you know what i think they suck!!!! what a waste of my time downloading their songs!! ....okay they are not that bad...but still...in my opinion they are a mediocre hardcore band that sounds about as good as Pig Destroyer..(which is not horrible but not the shit either.. Oh and sorry Vince that they are your fav band. thats all.

oh...and i tried to be sXe but i couldnt even for 2 days...FUCK BEING STRAIGHTEDGE!!!!!!!

and now for some REAL HARDCORE SHIT, drum rolls please... '1'1'1'1'1'1'1'1'1'1'1'1'1'1''1

......]]][[....].].].].].].]]..] ...>>,,,<, A PERFECT MURDER _ Die With regret

Such An Innocent Face And A Wonderful Person
You Took Her Last Breath And Now She's Missed In This World
An Unforgettable Act, The Worst Possible Thing
Playing The Role Of A God With Another Human Being
Die With Regret, Die Guilty For What You Did
Die With Regret, Die Guilty For What You Did

Who Are You To Decide, Who Is To Live And Who Is To Die
You'll Be The First To Die Of Better Yet Be Buried Alive
We Will Never Forget Everything That You Did
The Sentence Lies With Us, We Judge Hard And We Won't Forgive

Die With Regret, Die Guilty For What You Did
Die With Regret, Die Guilty For What You Did

I Know She's Gonna Wait For You In Hell
I Know She's Gonna Save A Place For You In Hell

hmmm..i posted ten muinutes ago, but..

Sat, 21 May 2005 18:50:00 GMT

I am a vampirefreaks account i started last month and i journal on there, so im only going to write in this when i have something cool to say or lyrics i like or stuff like that, tmy other journal on vampirefreaks is about the dstuff i do everyday, the people i meet, the new things i do, the old things i do, the guys in ...anyway, yeah.

some awesome songs im listening to :

A Distance There Is_Theatre of Tragedy, Forever_Throwdown, Blleeds No More_Silverstein, All She Wrote_ The Acacia Strain, Die With Regret_A Perfect Murder,

...and some old Avemged sevenfold (when they used to scream alot) oh and there are alot of typos here but my delete button wont wrk its broken :( ..backspace is broken too??? wth.

damn all you scene kids. you are only straighedge because you wanna fit in, you think youre so 'original', yet you act, sdress , and look like any other scene kid there is. you are rued and obnoxious because you think its so spectacular and its so 'scene', but every other kid like you is doing the same thing. you are not original. taking colse ups of your face is not artsy. you kdo not know what real photography is or beauty or anything. hmm..you are all suddenyl obssed with: dinosaurs, headbands, nbandannas, murder, bangbang, guns, danger, and robots, because its what 'scene kids' are supposed to like. you're so hardcore arent you, well you know what having atreyu and silverstein on your band list does not make you hardcore. you cant slamdance, and going to shows is not the most important thing in the world. you make fun of emo kids, yet you befriend the hot ones on myspace. you make bulleted lists of little useless info on myspace for others to read. but sorry but most of us just donet care. i dont care if you love 'kissing in the rain'. and fuck you. oyur friends arer not cooler than mine. your best firne d does not 'own' me. stop talking like niggers with your new gay lingo, sup nigs im so rad''//fuck that you killed my favorite word damn you!!! (...and some scene kids are okay)

Sat, 21 May 2005 18:32:53 GMT

LOVE LOST IN A HAIL OF GUNFIRE

(this was a fucking bomb..for a few seconds,

this place was armageddon, there was a fire fight!!!)

you are the fucking disease.
another day, another memory.
but i have fucking failed.
i turned another lie into the work of a saint.
so where is the cure?
hundreds of souls with the look of horror on their face.
now i rise from my knees.
i will not live in misery.
you won't take me.
you won't take me.
now it's me.
now it's me.
all that's left is a bitter taste of a life that was once so promising.
rather cut at the wrist than laugh about your mistakes.
sickness fills the air.
another life that you wish you could fake.
your eyes will cut through me, but it's a risk, that i must fucking take.
i must take.
so where is the cure?
hundreds of souls with the look of horror on their face.
now i rise from my knees.
i will not live in misery.
you won't take me.
you will not destroy me.
you cannot destroy me.
and i'll fight you with every ounce of strength i have left,
and i'll seal it with a bullet and a kiss.
so look at your fucking horror. horror.
i want to see your face.
show me your true face.
i want to see your face.
show me your true face.
my heart belongs to you, so save me.
my heart belongs to you, so save me, for the sake to give it away.
still beats, still beats inside of me.
my heart belogns to you, so save me.
and my heart still beats.
and my heart still beats.
my heart still beats, so save me.
my heart still beats.